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Mighty Duck Mary Sues

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X-posted [26 Apr 2006|02:28pm]

closer2
Just wanted to let y'all know that I got LJ to add Eden Hall to their schools list. I wasn't sure of the exact city, so I guessed Minneapolis...so yeah. Go add that to your list! It's fun!
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This one's mine! [24 Feb 2006|07:10pm]

closer2
I'm not disputing the fact that my OC is a blatant Sue -- I fully embrace her Sue-ness. This was just me putting my daydreams into writing, and I figured, it's my first fic, I might as well get it out of my system now, right? Feel free to rip her apart, and have fun doing so!

TITLE: Except Me

AUTHOR: AmnesiaSparkles (me!)

NAME(S): Margaret Conway, goes by Maggie or Maggs (again, me! Blatant, I know, but fun, and you know what? I don't care, I do like this character. I don't think she's that bad, as far as Sues go, and she's got a lot of redeemable qualities).

AFFILIATION: friend of Ducks

HAIR COLOUR: dark brown with auburn highlights (um...from being in the sun? Or because she's a Sue?)

EYE COLOUR: brown, but she wears green contacts

SPECIAL POSESSIONS/HOBBIES/TALENTS: She's a music junkie. She doesn't play, but she knows a lot about popular music, and she writes lyrics that hardly ever see the light of day.

HISTORY: She is Charlie's sister, younger by two years. She's known most of the Ducks since she was little, and Fulton is her best friend. She's had a crush on Averman ever since she started noticing boys.

CONNECTIONS TO CHARACTERS: Charlie's sister (I know, guys! I'm sorry!), Fulton's best friend (again...sorry!), and Averman's love interest (because I, too, have been crushing on Averman since I started to notice boys).

DOES S/HE PLAY HOCKEY? IF SO DETAILS: She does not. She can't skate to save her life. Not to mention, she's not really into sports, and only goes to the hockey games to ogle Averman.

NOTES: First of all, this fic will finally be updated (and finished soon, I hope), now that I have computer/internet access again). As I said, I'm not ashamed of this character. First fics are for getting all that junk out of your system, right? Plus, I don't think it's too horribly written (there are some grammatical errors, but I was impatient and spell check wasn't working). And you know? Writing myself into this story was my instant answer to lack of Averman stories and it's been really fun. Feel free to kill Maggs, but I'll defend her. Yes, she is a Sue, but she's my Sue!

SAMPLE OF THE STORY AND LINK: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2178090/1/
Sample chapter hereCollapse )
2 comments|post comment

reference post [23 Apr 2005|08:48pm]

splendiferous
[ mood | dorky ]

Well, I was criticized on the last post I made for not 'helping' the Sue-author (because OMGZ I'M SO MEAN!!!!1111ONE!!), so I decided to make a list of helpful Mary Sue sites to be used to educate Sue-authors of their offenses (plus, I was really bored) Most of them define the Mary Sue (in broad detail), while there's one great quiz. These are resources other than Queertet.net (which is great in it's own right)

Informational Mary-Sue Links
-The Official Mary Sue Manual A brief overview of the Mary Sue. Multifandom
-Mary Sue and Family all the generic Mary Sues
- The Essential Guide to Mary Sue A great in-depth analysis of Mary Sues. (mostly for the Lord of the Rings)
-A quiz that determines whether or not your OC is a Sue from the answers you choose For RPGs and fanfiction. It's a great tool.

1 comment|post comment

a new sue for you [17 Apr 2005|07:44pm]

splendiferous
[ mood | predatory ]

TITLE: Elizabeth Grey

AUTHOR: grumpypirate

NAME(S): Elizabeth Grey

AFFILIATION: Not quite sure yet, I think she'll end up becoming a Duck though

HAIR COLOUR: My hair is long and black

EYE COLOUR: and my eyes are a sharp piercing green.

SPECIAL POSESSIONS/HOBBIES/TALENTS: None mentioned yet.

HISTORY: Liz is originally from Lexington, Texas. She's abused by her dad (an alcoholic), mom's a drug addict, her dad kills her mom and gets away with it for some reason. Her twin cousins shipped her off to Minnesota so that she'd be away from her dad. In Minnesota, she regained her strength, learning self-defense and how to play hockey. Angsty Sue alert!

CONNECTIONS TO CHARACTERS: She bumps into Fulton while skating and becomes his friend.

DOES S/HE PLAY HOCKEY? IF SO DETAILS: She does, Bombay sees her skate and asks her to join the Ducks.

NOTES: She's your typical Angsty Sue...she fits right in with the Ducks and I'm assuming that she'll be Fulton's eventual love interest. First chapter is ridden with horrible grammar and spelling, second isn't so bad, but is filled with Sue-ness. Plus, the whole story's based on her, a Sue tipoff.

SAMPLE OF THE STORY AND LINK:
link

sampleCollapse )

8 comments|post comment

The Connie Moreau Fanlisting [17 Apr 2005|09:50pm]

campciabatta
[ mood | cheerful ]

Hey guys!

I'm here to announce the opening of the official fanlisting for Connie Moreau. Feel free to check it out and join up.

The Connie Moreau Fanlisting.

mrsbanks99 has helped me with a lot on the Extras page, especially the fan fic recommendations, so huge thanks to Meme! (If you see your fic there, please let me know if I have permission to link to it, as I haven't had time to send around E-mails to everyone yet.)
Hopefully I will be able to get more interesting things up on the Extras section, if I can put together some appropriate icons etc.


x-posted to themightyducks, ducksues, duck_revolt, campciabatta, DucksOwlsCorner, Themightyduckpond & MightyDucksMovies.

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community pimpage [26 Feb 2005|10:49am]

splendiferous
[ mood | excited ]

Hey. Well, spazzychick96 and I recently created ducks_fiction, a brand-new Ducks fanfiction archive that is an alternative to the Pit of Evil. We're completely dedicated to promoting 'good fics' --meaning that we don't permit Mary Sues, poor grammar, or netspeak. It's a moderated community, so we read over each story and anything that has netspeak or a Mary Sue is rejected. Please join, as it's brand new and we need new members! :)

[crossposted to duck_revolt and ducksues]

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Boring Sue for You! [12 Dec 2004|01:18am]

ex_precariou202
[ mood | bored ]

TITLE: Untitled Mighty Ducks (My, how creative!)

AUTHOR: meadow567 (And I happened to notice she had five of Meme's fics on her favorites list. I feel for you Meme. *hugs*)

NAME(S): Haley Turner

AFFILIATION: New girl at Eden Hall! Being Julie's roommate means instant friendship with the Ducks!

HAIR COLOUR: N/A

EYE COLOUR: N/A

SPECIAL POSESSIONS/HOBBIES/TALENTS: Used to figure skate and play hockey, but it became farrrr to painful to go out on the ice after her mother's *tragic* death from cancer that we learn about in chapter two. Since it was, after all, mommy dearest that got Haley into hockey and encouraged her. Her dad, Mitchell, is kind of a heartless bastard who sends his kid off to prep school so he won't have to deal with her, and can stay at home with his new wife, Barb, instead.

HISTORY: Her dad is friends with the dean, so he has her sent to Eden Hall...her mom died of cancer a few years ago. Haley has a habbit of sneaking out of the house. Oooh, badass to the max, yo! She also had sex, once, when she was twelve, with an ex, who dumped her a few days later. Oi vey. And a pregnancy scare, to boot! Blah, blah, blah, how many times have we heard this before?

CONNECTIONS TO CHARACTERS: She's Julie's roommate, her dad is friends with the dean, and...Fulton is in love with her! Duh!

DOES S/HE PLAY HOCKEY? IF SO DETAILS: Well, in chapter four she's randomly recruited because the Ducks need another player (something happened to Ken, I guess?), even though she hasn't played in four years after her mother's *tragic* death. So, yes. She plays hockey. In chapter four, and in chapter five, during the championship game.

NOTES: This story is just kind of lame, that's all. Pretty boring run-of-the-mill Sue-type things. Lots of use of "such-and-such started playing on the radio..." that really got on my nerves! Bah, I was bored, so this boring Sue was good enough to pass the time.

SAMPLE OF THE STORY AND LINK: The link is above, in the title. The sample, well...you asked for it! What boggles my mind the most is that Fulton understands a Dawson's Creek reference.Collapse )

Well, there you have it. And please, if anyone at all can explain why Fulton got that reference and I did not...clue me in. My head is spinning at this transgression.

One love,
Quimby

16 comments|post comment

First time. [30 Nov 2004|10:08pm]

galfridian

TITLE: Cake Eater & The Canuck (Danger, Will Robinson, danger!)

AUTHOR:
bankies baybee99 (Kind of sad, isn't it?)

NAME(S):
Cassandra "Cassie" Chanady; Cassie Catastrophic; Canuck (a speshul nickname from Adam)

AFFILIATION:
None to the ducks, per se, but she is "the best in all of Canada’s Hockey league."

HAIR COLOUR:
straight, dirty blonde

EYE COLOUR:
crystal blue

SPECIAL POSESSIONS/HOBBIES/TALENTS:
Again, "the best in all of Canada’s Hockey league." She "ties" with Adam for, I suppose, best player on the team. Um. Even though she's shorter than Adam, she intimidates him. On, and on, and on. *gags* Calls Adam "Cake Eater:

HISTORY:
Played in Canada and, for some mysterious (*chokegagsputter*) reason comes to Eden Hall. Has some secret regarding her brother.

CONNECTIONS TO CHARACTERS:
None really.

DOES S/HE PLAY HOCKEY? IF SO DETAILS:
Yes. In Canada, first. Then, for the Ducks. Strange because one minute, she's pissed at the suggestion of playing for the Ducks, then the next she's elated. Go figure.

NOTES:
All of the reviews you'll find with the link? Well, Lea Vaughn is me. Hee.

SAMPLE OF THE STORY AND LINK:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2148856/1/

SampleCollapse )

And for future reference? She's working on another story now, too. The Mary-Sue in this one (The Twin of a Bash Brother)? Dean Portman's twin sister. Poor, poor Dean. My sweetheart. My lovely Bash Brother. *weeps*

8 comments|post comment

this is amusing.... [09 Nov 2004|10:15pm]

splendiferous
[ mood | energetic ]

Well, I was supposed to be studying for a History test...but instead I decided to look up random things on Wikipedia.

And look who made it into the Wikipedia!

I really think that that' s kind of sad, no?

[crossposted to ducksues and my journal]

1 comment|post comment

Mary-Sue alert! Remain tuned-in for updates... [05 Oct 2004|06:41pm]

saturniia
[ mood | amused ]

TITLE: Preppy (2 chapters in, so far)

AUTHOR: tudilovesyou

NAME(S): Taylor Carlyle

AFFILIATION: established: Adam's friend, also seems to be setting up as a crush on Portman

HAIR COLOUR: Brown (waist-length)

EYE COLOUR: as yet unknown

SPECIAL POSESSIONS/HOBBIES/TALENTS: excellent singer, sticks to prock so far; rides horses, we assume quite well though we're not told

HISTORY: Texan parents are quite rich. She met Adam because his family "summers" nearby (which is really too bad. I hear summer is the Twin Cities' nicest season). When he calls her during D2 about Portman and Ms. McKay, she tells him off. Since the song she chose is "Living in the Shadows" (Ashlee Simpson), we assume that her parents favor an unmentioned sibling... either that, or she's just a drama queen.

CONNECTIONS TO CHARACTERS: Adam's summer friend, apparently Portman's crush, Julie and Connie seem willing to get to know her.

DOES S/HE PLAY HOCKEY? IF SO DETAILS: It's inferred that she doesn't.

NOTES: This isn't badfic, just annoyingly ordinary. Same old, same old, blah, blah, blah, with plot holes big enough to drive a Mack truck through. For example, she's a high school junior (assumed age 15-17), and sings in a club. Also, the way they're setting her up with a certain penalty-box stripper is just a little too convenient. Oh, and the total reversal between preppy!Taylor and rocker!Taylor... couldn't the author have spread that out just a little more? Fic where happily-ever-after between canon and OC characters comes super-easy are really not my style.

SAMPLE OF THE STORY AND LINK:

Taylor followed the Dean into her single dorm room , “Well Miss Carlyle what do you think of your room” ,”first of all Dean Buckley please call me Taylor, and secondly its gorgeous but you didn’t have to give me a single” , “Nonsense Miss Carlyle”, Taylor rolled her eyes. Her parents said their good byes and eventually Taylor was left with her mound of luggage and an empty room. She jumped on her bed , “I’M FREE I’M FREE HALLELUJAH I’M FREE”, the petite girl screamed. She climbed off her bed and began to talk aloud to herself , “who would have thought that I would ever get away from them , this was a great plan I should have thought of it earlier , 16 and on my own with my brand new truck and daddy’s plastic , I guess having rich snotty parents can be a good thing sometimes. And who would have thought that while I was here a month ago checking out the campus that I would get a job singing at a club , I am one lucky girl” she finished her thoughts and went to work unpacking her suitcases.

My comments: All right, it's not inconcievable that they give her a single; I'm living in one at college right now. The doting Dean is believable only because it's her first day. My only beefs so far are her jumping on the bed (if they're remotely like the ones we have at school, they aren't exactly sturdy), and singing in the club. These next bits, however...

...Taylor was walking on stage, she was dressed in black velour pants that hung on her hips and a fitted pink t-shirt her long brown hair lying flat down to her waist. Dean Portman took notice to the small petite yet curvy figure she had , she looked like a miniature woman.

Okay, did I miss something here? Why do we care that her pants are black velour and her t-shirt's pink? Does that have anything to do with the narrative? I mean, we assume that she isn't up there naked. Plus, the whole "was walking", "was dressed" thing annoys me. You don't need to use passive verbs or past-tense verbs and gerundives! "Taylor walked" and "she wore"... is that too hard? It cuts down on the word count, too. Furthermore, what's this bit about her looking like "a miniature woman"? Rule of thumb, people. Real women have curves. Fake women have dicks. If she's a teenage chick, of course she's going to look like a woman... "small petite" is redundant, and the phrase "full-grown woman" might've worked better than "miniature woman". I know some adult women who are under five feet tall, at least one of whom is under 4'8".

She finished her song and left the stage.

After one song?! OMGWTFBBQ??! (If you don't know, don't ask).

After telling the "Adam calls her" story, which insulted Portman.Taylor moved to get up and Fulton grabbed her arm “I wouldn’t do that he likes to be left alone when he’s mad” , Taylor looked at Fulton apologetically “Yea but when I hurt people I don’t just walk away” with that she stood and ran out of the room. “she never has run out on anyone after she hurts someone, even her parents its just the type of person she is”.

And Fulton's only Dean's best friend. If Taylor's good intentions don't blow up in her face, I'll wonder if the author reads her own work. I'm sure Portman wouldn't have been insulted if Taylor waited until tomorrow to apologize... in fact, he might've welcomed the time to cool down. Hey, even giving Fulton a note to pass to Portman would've been smarter than going after a six foot plus angry enforcer on a school night. By the way, why's everyone in Taylor's room? And isn't there a curfew for guests in the dorms? I'm living in a college dorm, and there's one here, damn skippy!

10 comments|post comment

A New Sue! [05 Oct 2004|04:59pm]

ex_precariou202
[ mood | grrrr ]

Well, a new Sue fic, at least. As far as the Sue heritself is concerned, it's pretty run of the mill. I'm too tired to rip this to shreds properly, but figured I'd supply the link so if anyone else is up for the challenge, they can go for it. Please do. I could use a good laugh. <33Quimby!!1

PREPPY!
6 comments|post comment

Just something I've noticed... [16 Sep 2004|10:24pm]

saturniia
Hey, all. I'm new to the community, mainly dropping by as a "lurker". Just decided I'd post because I've just come upon something quite odd. Have you noticed that in all the fanfics posted here, not one Mary-Sue seems to be older than the eldest Duck? They're all either freshmen or transfer students. Not one story about a previously enrolled upperclasswoman (unless maybe she's a cheerleader), not one crush on the girl enrolled in public school who works at the movies on weekends, not one summer fling with a college student they work(ed) with. I mean, come on! Do these kids not have lives beyond campus? Do these students from blue-collar families not have to pay their own way when it comes to pocket money for clothes, off-campus food, or transportation (bus pass, train tickets, etc)? What do they do with their free time during the off-season?!

I guess I'm just ranting because the fandom doesn't seem to think that the Ducks have lives outside hockey, the classrooms, or the dorms... and because the Mary-Sue pool is so completely shallow.

Hmm... anyone dare me to actually try to write an older-woman Sue for you all to take apart?
7 comments|post comment

D4 Discussion [07 Sep 2004|09:54pm]

thestalkycop
[ mood | worried ]

It appears there will be a Mighty Ducks 4. I should be thrilled, right? My fandom is getting another instalment. Yay. Actually, I’m completely indifferent. Discussions with Craig on fan fic (believe me, his post about fan fic will eventually hit LJ, even if I have to tie him to the chair to… tie… um… what was I saying?), have revealed that I prefer the Ducks fandom to the movies.

Also, I heard that Josh Jackson had stated that it would take “decades of unemployment” to get him to do another Ducks movie. Wonder how much they’re paying him.

Another thing: You guys do realise that this will only make more bloody Josh Jackson fangirls (omg! pacey is so fawkin hawt! *rapes him*) types invading the fandom, don’t you?

Yay.

What are your thoughts?

This piece of happy chipper bounciness has been cross posted to my journal (thestalkycop), ducksues, duck_revolt and themightyducks

2 comments|post comment

Goth-Sue! [15 Jul 2004|11:10am]

thestalkycop
[ mood | pissed off ]

TITLE: Haunted // and with a title like that, you just know the Sue will have an angsty past.

AUTHOR: curlysara26

SUMMARY: A new girl with a tragic past enrolls in Eden Hall and catches the eye of Captain Duckie. Will her past tear them apart, or pull them together? I know this type of story’s been done before but please read. UPDATED! // If you know it’s been done before, why do it again?

NAME(S): Kyla

AFFILIATION: Julie’s roommate. The only Goth in the entire school. So very speshul - especially since being a Goth is now pretty much obligatory since bloody Evanescence released their angst-riddled album. As a side note, I blame Evanescence for the amount of Goths in fics recently. If they didn’t have lyrics such as “my wounds cry for the grave, my soul cries for deliverance, will I be denied? Christ, tourniquet, my suicide” the fangirls probably wouldn’t think that depression is cool.

I’ve removed hair and eye colour and put in description instead. Hope nobody minds.
DESCRIPTION: “He took in the girl quickly, from her long straight hair that had been dyed a deep black, to her dull hazel eyes that were hidden beneath heavy layers of black eyeliner. Her face was pale with powder, and her lips were painted a deep red, which served as the only color in her outfit. She wore a baggy black sweater that swallowed her body, and baggy black jeans.” [the ‘he’ being Charlie]

About her hair, black is black, it’s an absolute colour, you can’t have light, dark or deep black, it’s just black. One shade fits all. *sigh* Making her eyes dull does not un-Sue her, and really, she’s hardly a Goth. I wore eyeliner to my job interview yesterday and I have a naturally pale complexion, add that to my black suit, am I a Goth? Not any more.

I think the baggy clothes are to disguise her femininity because she’s been raped, by either Rick Riley or someone who looks like him. I only got to chapter two, the angst was too boring to go any further, but she never stops crying, has nightmares, wears baggy clothes and is terrified of Rick Riley. Has anyone else put the pieces together to figure out the very shocking plot-twist? Yeah? Great. Guess we don’t need to read any further.

SPECIAL POSESSIONS/HOBBIES/TALENTS: The absolute inability to be nice to anyone, to start wibbling and crying every time Riley appears and to be immediately invited into the Ducks group.

HISTORY: Deep, dark, angsty past, not revealed in chapter two (where I stopped reading) but bound to be rape.

CONNECTIONS TO CHARACTERS: Well, Charlie is obsessed with her.

DOES S/HE PLAY HOCKEY? IF SO DETAILS: Not yet, maybe she does further into the fic, but I’m not going there.

NOTES: This writer is actually really good, (despite her obsession with describing everyone as “young woman” and “young man”), it’s a shame she’s intent on suing up all fandoms that interest her, because she really has talent. Sadly, she’s got a Sue in Slytherin in the HP fandom too. Pretty much all of her stories feature a new character.

SAMPLE OF THE STORY AND LINK:

Chapter 1 ~ Where she catches Charlie's eyeCollapse )

Chapter 2 ~ Where Sue's angsty past is hinted at in a tres unsubtle wayCollapse )

Chapter 2 ~ More AngstCollapse )

9 comments|post comment

Pimping my story... [02 Jul 2004|10:34pm]

nygoldfish54
[ mood | amused ]

hey all...since we're all such Mary Sue haters, I just thought of pimping my story here.

kayakpride711, if this is "illegal" just delete it.

Anyway, you can find my new anti-Sue fic here: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1931794&chapter=1

Enjoy!

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[14 Jun 2004|06:41pm]

princesspen
O.K Here's a question cos I'm abit lost with this... From the looks of things, it's not the people who actually write their little story, who fills out that little survey thing right? So what I'm wondering is do we first post the stories, then you do that? *scratches head* sorry about this, I just wanna be sure, before I go ahead.
7 comments|post comment

I hope I don't get into trouble for pimping my new group... [06 Jun 2004|06:38pm]

mrsbanks99
[ mood | happy ]

I just created a new community for a Mighty Ducks Movie RGP.
It's located at http://www.livejournal.com/community/eden_hall/ if anyone is interested in joining.

At the moment most of the characters are still open please leave a comment and let me know who you'd like to play.

Averman - Star
Banksie -
Bombay -
Casey-
Jan-
Julie-
Charlie -
Connie - Meme
Dwayne -
Fulton - on hold
Goldberg -
Guy -
Ken -
Luis -
Portman - on hold
Russ -
Orion-
Jesse-

The Bash brothers are on hold at the moment, however if they're not claimed they will be made available. Former Ducks are also allowed, just unlisted. I left Adam open because I'm not willing to fight over him, lol.

I'm trying to keep OCs to a minimum, therefore original characters will have to be approved. Oh lastly, if possible please try to make an icon of your character to use while posting. If you can't, contact me and I'll try to make one for you. This will just make it easier for other members to figure out who you're portraying.

7 comments|post comment

[05 Jun 2004|02:05am]
emily_bloom
[ mood | awake ]

Left a flame on a Sue fic.... 

<a_href="http://>http://www.fanfiction.net/reviews.php?storyid=1837535</a>

6 comments|post comment

*sighs* I guess we can't live in bliss forever. Give me a break... [04 Jun 2004|08:42pm]
spazzychick96
[ mood | annoyed ]

At least it's better than all the stuff The Evil One has been posting. Perhaps she's finally gone? Hm. Anyway...Found this one while browsing the fandom. Made my head hurt.



TITLE: All I Ever Wanted and Needed

AUTHOR: LightHope1

NAME(S): Emma Larks

AFFILIATION: New girl at Eden Hall. Sound familiar? I'm getting a vague sense of deja vu...

HAIR COLOUR: Blonde

EYE COLOUR: I don't really remember. I wasn't paying close attention. It's probably in there though.

SPECIAL POSESSIONS/HOBBIES/TALENTS: "The highest IQ" of her old school and "a talent with hockey that nobody could understand." The ability to make all the male Ducks "gawk" at her as she walks away. *throws up*

HISTORY: Got taken from her old school and moved by her parents because she's just TOO smart! Apparently her parents "abandoned" her (omg teh agnst!!!1!one!!)

CONNECTIONS TO CHARACTERS: Several classes with Ducks. I think she likes Dwayne, but I'm not sure...Yeah, I think she does. My poor little Dwayne...He got Sued.

DOES S/HE PLAY HOCKEY? IF SO DETAILS: Naturally. What Sue would be complete without it? Oh, and even better, she's joined the Ducks! Surprise surprise! But of course this doesn't happen without them all gushing about how great she is and her "awesome shot" which probably rivals Fulton's. *sighs and shakes head again*

NOTES: It was hard to read because there were several large paragraphs, and it just hurt my eyes. It's not as bad as one big paragraph, but I tell you it was a painful experience. Why must we get all these Sues? And maybe it's just me, but I find it annoying that she keeps calling Dwayne "Cowboy" as if it's his name...It just annoys me personally. It's a nickname, but that just grates on my nerves. They call him that occasionally, but not as if it's his name. *sighs* This one couldn't even be the rare case where the author has good spelling and grammar and SPACING either...Man, now my head hurts...*whimpers*

SAMPLE OF THE STORY AND LINK:

The Ducks lost track of Emma when she claimed she had a free period for her last class. They all gawked at her (*sighs* Why? Tell my WHY?!) and she smiled and said “Ciao!” She made a detour to her locker and headed towards the skating rink. She opened the door to her new domain and it was huge. She found a good place to put her stuff. Emma grabbed her ice skates and put them on and then grabbed a smaller bag holding her pucks and her stick.
As a go away present her old team had gotten this for her. She missed them dearly and felt different, out of place at Eden Hall. (Yes, Sue! No one likes you! Go away!) Her jersey was the last part of her old team she had and when she hit the ice she felt like they were playing with her. Emma threw out all the pucks on the ice and swirled around them and started hitting them. They gave her no problems. She when hit them again and again. As she finished her fifth time Emma felt a watchful eye on her. At the moment she looked at the gazing eyes of the cowboy Dwayne. She quickly looked away, grabbing her pucks and stick, iced off the rink. Dwayne was quicker then she thought he was in front of her by the time she had her roller blades on.
“Where did you learn to shoot like that?” Cowboy asked crossing his arms in front of her. (Does that sound vaguely familiar to anyone else? Hm? A show of hands?) “Back home in North Carolina. With my team backed me up!” “Well, why not play for the ducks?” “I don’t want to Dwayne and please stay away from me including the ducks!” Emma gave Dwayne an unusual smile and skated off.
Dwayne went to talk to Coach because he wanted Emma on the team and thought the girl need friends. He also liked her because she was special to him. (Oh yes. Sue is VERY special...*snickers*) Emma skated to her dorm room she shared with 2 preppy cheerleaders. It wasn’t her fault she got stuck with them but they were uncaring and stuck up! When she had put up her hockey poster on her side of the room they about freaked and glared at her. “Emma, You need to get a new hobby like umm...Cheerleading! You could pass for one with a little help with that blond hair and nails.” Shrieked Marisa. Emma grabbed her laptop and books and yelled, “I rather be a hockey player then ever be a cheerleader! If I get any messages tell them I’m at the library or mess hall!”
She grabbed a jacket that would keep her warm from the chill night. She ran for the mess hall for a decent dinner. Her blond hair was in a half ponytail and her face was freezing. She missed home so much. She ate a bowl of chilly (It's chili, dear. Chili.) for dinner and study for English and History. Her wits needed finer tweaking. As she finished studying at the mess hall, she saw the ducks leaving and heading to their dorms or home if they lived near by. Charlie spotted her out with her navy white (Navy white? There's a such thing as navy white?) jacket. Emma snaked around a group going to the mess hall and headed towards the ice rink. She didn’t care who saw her she wanted to have some fun. Charlie, Dwayne and coach fallowed her (Because, you know, Charlie, Dwayne, and the COACH have nothing better to do with their lives then stalk Sue). They had left hockey pucks and a stick for her. She had her skates with her and started playing. The coach saw her shoot and couldn’t believe it. The coach ran onto the ice grabbed her arm and asked her to be on the team. Emma nodded shocked he was talking to her. She looked past him to see Dwayne’s grin and nod. Charlie ran onto the ice and hugged her and said, “Welcome to the team Emma!” Emma smiled and hugged him back, “Thank you Charlie for believing in me.” (*tear* Not! How dare you speak to my Charlie! Funny how she's whistling a different tune now. Poor Sue. So conflicted and psycho...) He pulled away and let Dwayne hug her. He was taller then Charlie and made her feet leave the ground. She held on and her eyes brimmed up, how could one thing like this make her feel like this? Dwayne let go and Emma went back to reality. Back home she would never have acted like this! A small voice in her head spoke up you not home anymore! Remember your parents abandoned you! (Omg teh agnst!!1!one!!1!) Her hardness came back in a flash. “Thank you Coach for this great opportunity! I will be at practice tomorrow.” Then Emma skated off the skates leaving Dwayne and Charlie looking at her with confusion on their faces. Emma skated home books in her hockey bag thinking over what she had just done. Was she so crazy to think this would work? Adam rang the dorm bell with Charlie leaning against a wall. Marissa answered the door and instead of her date to the school dance she found two guys waiting for Emma. Marissa yelled up to Emma side of the dorm. “You got company Emma! Its some of your hockey friends!” She shouted. Emma came to the door way her eyes grew sadder because (Dwayne wasn’t there!) Charlie didn’t notice but went up the stairs, “Where have you been darling? You’re a mess!” (Oh yes, because Charlie will be calling her darling after one day of knowing her. *facepalm*) Emma looked down at her torn and dirty jeans. She had spent the day horseback riding at the local ranch. She was a little rusty because she hadn’t ridden in 2 years. “O yea I went umm... Horseback riding!” Emma mumbled. Charlie grinned.


http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1892740



Ugh. Okay, I'll stop now. I just got a bit carried away. And the spacing is all hers...I'm too lazy to seperate it out at the moment...Oh, and at the end (after I stopped) she goes on to add another character who was supposedly little Miss Sue's "best friend" and fellow hockey player, and his name's Jason. I guess they dated or something. But she's in "love" with Dwayne. Poor, poor Dwayne. *sighs* I think I'm gonna go weep for the fandom some more...This is depressing me. *slinks away to cry*

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[29 May 2004|02:19am]
emily_bloom
[ mood | awake ]

TITLE: The New Girl (that is story suicide right there)

AUTHOR: KellyBanks99

NAME(S):
‘my name is taylor costellia-colleratine the second’


AFFILIATION: NEW GURL AT EDEN HALL! Adams ROOMATE!! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS CO-ED DORMS IN PREP SCHOOL!! *censored*

HAIR COLOUR: not mentioned

EYE COLOUR: not mentioned

SPECIAL POSESSIONS/HOBBIES/TALENTS: loves hockey, loves AC/DC (author butchers lyrics to Shook Me All Night Long) has a lot in common with Adam, Connie says she is the "prettiest girl in Eden Hall" 

HISTORY: none yet

CONNECTIONS TO CHARACTERS: Adam's roomate

DOES S/HE PLAY HOCKEY? IF SO DETAILS: Loves it, don't know if she plays yet,

NOTES: Same author that caused uproar w/ grammer and ruining Gn'R songs. 

SAMPLE OF THE STORY AND LINK:

Chapter 1 meeting adam

i took some of the suggestions from the reviewes of my last duck story.i still love net speak.its soo cool.it’s the best.can’t believe that you peeps dont like it.anyway,i got a betta like all of you asked me to.and she’s very good.she made paragraphs and all that shit.thanks katie for all the help.you go girl!

taylor costellia – colloratine walked up to the front door of eden hall academy.on the right was a small office.she walked up to the girl working behind the desk and asked her for her room number. The secretary asked her her her name.

‘my name is taylor costellia-colleratine the second’

the girl thumbed though a long list of names and frowned.’there’s been a mix up.’

‘whats wrong now?’

‘apparently theres been a mix up with rooms.you were originly supossed to room with connie monroe.that has now been changed.i’m sorry but we weren’t expectin this many girls this year.i have you put in a room with adam banks.is that okay with you?’

‘i guess i’ll have to deal, won’t i?’

‘here is your key.i believe adam has already moved in.’

i took the key in my hand and went up to my room.i found the door and opened it.a tall,cute, blond boy was busy getting dressed.

‘what are you doing here?’

‘this is my room.’

‘in case you haven’t noticed, this is the male dorm area.’

‘i’ve noticed that preppy boy and you better get used to it.because i’m your new roomie.’

‘i’m adam.nice to meet you.’

‘i’m taylor.’

there was a knock on the door.it was another tall boy.he wasn’t as cute as adam but he was gosh darn close.

‘hello.’

‘hello guy.this is my new roommate taylor.’

‘o my god.they’re allowing dorms to be co-eded now.that is like totally cool.i’m going to ask if i can have connie switch too.’

a brown hair girl stepped out from behind the the the cute boy.

‘what are you talking about guy?i herd my name mentioned.’

‘nothing girly.you just run right along now and let us me do all the talkin.’

‘i will not’

that girl was annoying.

‘come on adam.we don’t want to be late for practise.connie, will you help adams roomie unpack?’

‘all right.you two can go now.’

‘will do.’

the two boys left.

‘so?your adams new roomate?’

‘that he is.’

‘what’s your name.’

‘mine is Taylor.’

‘that’s a boys name.no wonder you got put with adam’

taylor paused for a moment.’do you know if adam has a girl friend?’

‘adam?have a girl friend?hahahahaha.’

‘i wonder if he would be interested in me.i mean,would us being roomates help anyway?what does adam like?’

‘hockey.’

‘oh my gosh.i love hockey.and i love ac/dc too.what type of music does adam like?’

‘he loves ac/dc.you two are like a perfect match.’

‘i wish i was pretty enough to get his attention.’

‘what are you talking about.you’re the prettiest girl in that i’ve seen in the entire school.’

‘no i’m not.’

‘yes you are.adam would have to be blind not to notice you.oh my god.look at the time.i’ve got to run.anytime you want to talk, just call me.’

‘thanks’

she ran out of the room.i flipped on my cd players and shook me all night blasted out of the headphones.

working double time on the sedution line she was one of a kind, shes just mine all mine he wanted no applause

just another course made a meal out of me and came back for more had to cool me down to take another round

now i'm back in the ring to take another swing

because the walls were shaking the earth was quaking my mind was aching and we were making it and you -

and knocked me out and then you shook me all night long you had me shakin' and you shook me all night long yeah you shook me well you took me

you reall took me and you shook me all night long oooh you shook me all night long yeah, yeah, you shook me all night long

your really took me and you yeah you shook me, yeah you shook me all night long

i looked at mine and adams single beds and listened to the lyrics.she smiled, changed into a tee-shirt which said ‘hey baby.want some of this?’.she lied down on adams night and dreamed of the night where adam would shake her all night long.

 

 

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