Jessica (galfridian) wrote in ducksues,

First time.

TITLE: Cake Eater & The Canuck (Danger, Will Robinson, danger!)

bankies baybee99 (Kind of sad, isn't it?)

Cassandra "Cassie" Chanady; Cassie Catastrophic; Canuck (a speshul nickname from Adam)

None to the ducks, per se, but she is "the best in all of Canada’s Hockey league."

straight, dirty blonde

crystal blue

Again, "the best in all of Canada’s Hockey league." She "ties" with Adam for, I suppose, best player on the team. Um. Even though she's shorter than Adam, she intimidates him. On, and on, and on. *gags* Calls Adam "Cake Eater:

Played in Canada and, for some mysterious (*chokegagsputter*) reason comes to Eden Hall. Has some secret regarding her brother.

None really.

Yes. In Canada, first. Then, for the Ducks. Strange because one minute, she's pissed at the suggestion of playing for the Ducks, then the next she's elated. Go figure.

All of the reviews you'll find with the link? Well, Lea Vaughn is me. Hee.


(All formatting is hers.)

"Cassie Catastrophic is the best in all of Canada’s Hockey league Sweeping People off there feet province by province territory by territory" (Of course she sweeps people off their there feet with all of those run-ons.)

Cassandra Chanady took her bags off the plane and made it to gate 12.

Earlier That day POV of Coach Orion.

"Okay ducks take a knee. Today were getting a new player, maybe you’ve heard of her Cassandra Chanady?"

"Oh yea isn’t she like the best hockey player in all of Canada?" (*stares in awe* The best...? Really...? *cough*)

"Yep Adam you’re right she is---"

"Wait... wait .... wait You mean to tell me that out of all the people in Canada she’s the best player?" Russ Said (Don't worry, Russ, we don't buy it, either.)

"Anyway who wants to come with me to pick her up from the airport tomorrow?"

Banks’ and Charlies Hands shot up (Well, let's not all rush to be the goody over-achievers.)

"Okay Banks Conway come over here, the rest of you 20 laps then hit the showers. Okay banks Conway Her plane get in at 10:00 am so you better be up at 9:00 shower and meet me down in the front of the school at 9:30. Got it?"

"Yes sir" They both replied

What's even more sad? Notice how the beginning of the chapter has her at the airport, then it says "earlier that day" and has the thing at the rink? Well, when they actually go to get her? Right above is the heading "The Next Day". This author is really stupid, ignorant, and stubborn. Sadly, I can tell you from experience. Anyway, showing you another sample, because we all can't get enough of how hottttttt Adam is. *eyeroll*

as she was walking through the gate she saw a man that had to be Ted Orion then she saw two younger boys, one Very Attractive with dirty blond hair and the most gorgeous blue eyes, then one with cute curly brown hair and brown eyes.

"Hi my name is Cassandra Are you coach orion?"

Adam’s POV

Wow she’s gorgeous with the straight dirtty blond hair and the crystal blue eyes nice fit body.

Back to Cassies POV

"Hi my names cassandra you can call me cassie or cas either one so whats ur name?"

"Mines Adam Banks"

"Ohhhhh the guy that I’m tied at for most goals And assists well let me tell you that won’t last very long" She said teasingly

"And I’m charlie Conway Captain of the JV Mighty ducks"

"Ohh so ur my new captain i see"

She said walking over in front of him Even though he was about 4 inches taller than her she was still very intimidating.

"So shall we get a move on Wheres all ur stuff?" Coach asked.

"Its all right here" she said holding up two bags

"Okay well banks conway you grab them"

As both boys took her bags she knew they were quite heavy so both boys took her bags and immediately dropped them

"Hey I’ve Valuables in there" She said laughing

"Oh sorry" they both said at the same time they loaded everything in the car and got in and started there drive to Eden Hall.

"So whats it like to be tied with Cake eater here?" Charlie asked

"Whats Cake eater?" She replied

"Oh its just a nick name they have for me Canuck"

"Canuck I like it" She said with a grin on her face.

" Okay well were just gonna ake it in time for hockey practicee to when we get there suit up and ill meet you on the ice." Coach Called back to us

And for future reference? She's working on another story now, too. The Mary-Sue in this one (The Twin of a Bash Brother)? Dean Portman's twin sister. Poor, poor Dean. My sweetheart. My lovely Bash Brother. *weeps*

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*claps for you* Nice, Jess. :P

As for her brother's "secret"...I'm willing to bet he's either dead, raped her, or is someone of importance. XD I haven't actually read the story, so I dunno, but those are my guesses. :P

*shudders* Uck. Now that I've actually read a sample of her story (loved your commentary, by the way) I doubt I could have been so gentle in my review. XD Stupid people are so annoying. Especially stubborn stupid people...

Hrmph. *goes away to weep for the fandom*
The CHL eh? Junior As for a grade 9/10 girl. Impossible. If I'm not mistaken junior A players cannot be younger than 16 and that is extremely rare. The average age is 18. Mind you I doubt the author knows what the CHL is.


December 1 2004, 07:50:06 UTC 13 years ago

um, she's been deleting constructive criticism as well. I think capduckca and I (arcadie) had each left constructive criticism and when I went back to see if she heeded my advice, my review was gone. I'm not sure if she had deleted it on purpose or on accident but it was kind of annoying since I took the time to give her some thoughtful advice. On the bright side, she has put this story on hold but does want me to help her and I am far too lazy...
I noticed (I left constuctive crititcism too, but mine hasn't been deleted yet), and Mary and I think she probably deleted the story and reposted since it's impossible to delete signed reveiws.

I don't blame would be a huge and exhausting project to take on.


December 6 2004, 11:13:17 UTC 13 years ago

She's at it again. I think I'll have to overcome my laziness and help her since there's just btoo many Mary Sues in the fandom. I wish there was a way to filter 'em out. I checked her favorites and was shocked by the sheer number of MD mary sues that I had never even heard of all piled into one favorites list.
The only remote chance for a filter is they're little communities. Then, the people in charage of the community created choose which stories are archived.

I noticed the review you left, though. Since I'm beyond the point of hoping she'll really improve, I just left my biggest gripe: The Robertsons don't live in Minnesota, they live in Texas. So, since I'm assuming the Sue is going to be connected to the Ducks through Dwayne and will be at Eden Hall, it's a big error.


April 4 2005, 01:18:31 UTC 13 years ago

Okay you know what?... I'm sorry that my sister isn't the best writer in the world, okay? All she ever wanted to do was write something that people would like, even if her character is a mary sue. So what? Is it offending you in anyway? No And now that my sister is dead, I have to finish her stories for her, because that's what she wanted me to do. And just in case you're wondering my sister she killed her self because people wouldn't stop critisizing her and making fun of her. All She wanted to do was write, but now i see that you couldn't even let her do that! people like you guys make me sick to know that you have nothing better to do in your lives than to make people feel bad about what they write. GOD! Get a life!


April 4 2005, 01:20:04 UTC 13 years ago

And She probly deleted your critizism because she couldn't stand to look at it. that's how badly she thought of herself